When and How Should I Seek Help for My Child?
All parents worry about their children and sometimes wonder if the behaviors or emotions their children/teens are exhibiting are “normal.” In the context of life being turned upside down for the past year during the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s fair to wonder what “normal” even is! That said, here are some tips to help parents decide when to seek professional help for their children, teens, and/or family, and also what type of assistance might be best.
Observe and document specific behaviors that are concerning you
Rather than generalizations that your child is “not herself” or that he is “behaving badly,” be clear about the things you’re noticing. For example, maybe your child used to be very outgoing but is now worried about going anywhere in public, or perhaps your once compliant and agreeable teen is arguing with you daily. When you’re seeking help for your child, it’s important to be able to provide concrete examples of your concerns, both to make sure you can find the right provider to address these issues and to help with identifying specific treatment plans and strategies that may be effective. Also be sure to note the frequency of these behaviors and how long they’ve been happening.
Pay attention to impairment or differences in functioning
All kids (and adults, for that matter) will experience emotions like anxiety, sadness, and irritability from time to time. Similarly, even typically developing children will be noncompliant, forgetful, and/or argumentative some days. If you’re observing these emotions or behaviors in your child for extended periods of time, also pay attention to how much impairment these might be causing in their day to day lives. For example, are they refusing to attend school or social outings? Have they withdrawn from the family and become more resistant to attempts to engage them? Other noticeable signs of impairment can include a decline in academic performance, disruptions to social and family relationships, and self-harming or self-destructive behaviors.
Share your concerns with other collaborators or professionals
Once you’ve documented some of your concerns and the impact on your child’s functioning, it may be helpful to reach out to your child’s pediatrician, teachers, and/or school guidance counselors as a first step. Your pediatrician already knows your family and also sees a lot of children each day, so he or she can give you an idea about whether to be concerned from a normal developmental perspective. Similarly, if you have concerns about your child at home, it’s often helpful to determine whether teachers have observed similar concerns in the learning environment (and yes, this is complicated by the fact that your child’s learning environment may currently be your home). For some diagnoses, like Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), we expect there to be symptoms and impairment present across environments, so it is helpful to explore and ask these questions.
Reach out to a mental health professional
When you have a sense of the main challenges and concerns your child/teen is experiencing, this can help guide you to a mental health professional who specializes in treating those symptoms. There are ways to search for therapists in your area such as Psychology Today, specialty organization websites (e.g., the Anxiety and Depression Association of America), and of course, Google. Once you’ve connected with a therapist, you’ll likely start by attending an intake appointment to openly share and discuss your observations and concerns. Then, the therapist will also meet with your child to assess their symptoms. Through these first couple of sessions, and often with the use of rating scales, licensed mental health professionals are able to offer initial diagnostic impressions and treatment plans. They can also recommend further evaluation if/as necessary. Which brings us to...
Seek further evaluation when needed for diagnostic clarification
There are some situations in which psychological testing, beyond an initial diagnostic intake evaluation conducted by a therapist, may be necessary. The clearest example is with regard to potential learning disabilities; in this case, a comprehensive psychoeducational evaluation is warranted and would likely include IQ and academic achievement testing, questionnaires completed by parents, teachers, and the student (depending on age and presenting concerns), and other measures of functioning. Objective, norm-referenced assessment is also strongly recommended for the diagnosis of ADHD. Additionally, further assessment may be suggested when there are symptoms of multiple diagnoses present to provide clarification and more specific treatment recommendations. At BASE, we offer ADHD evaluations and personality-based diagnostic assessments, and we can provide local referrals to families seeking more comprehensive psychoeducational or neuropsychological evaluations.
Looking for further consultation regarding your child or teen? Get started with Dr. Raines.